Saturday, October 26, 2013

There was a middle aged woman who swallowed a fly...

Ambulator - noun
A person who walks.

Today is a landmark day because today I became an official Ambulator, a person who walks.  I could have been a Rambler, an Ambler, or even a Stroller, but they were all a little, well, pedestrian.

Ha!   Did you see what I did there?   That was a pun!   Ahhh, I crack me up sometimes...

If you run, you get to be a Runner with all the associated connotations of excellence and drive, if you're a bloke who rides a bike, then apparently you're a MAMIL (a middle aged man in Lycra).

But if you walk for your health & fitness, what are you?  A walker?  BORING!  It sounds like I'm either a disability aid or a Zombie...

So I decided on Ambulator.  It sort of implies focus and purpose.  I am - an Ambulator!

But why is it official?

Because today I swallowed my first fly  in the middle of a 4km walk.

Little buggers were everywhere.  Teeny little ones they were - except for the one I swallowed - size of a bloody goose that thing!

I had a bit of a Tommy Franklin moment there, throwing myself around trying to dislodge it, to no avail.  I just had to suck it up and carry on.  By the time I was done I had swallowed two, and quite possibly three of the bloody things.  Note to self:  Learn to keep your mouth shut when ambulating.

I didn't bother with lunch when I got home... I wonder how many calories are in a fly??

I did a couple of things differently today.  Firstly, I took a hydration pack with me.

A couple of weeks ago I bought a Camelbak FlashFlo 1.5L bum bag thingy in order to be rid of one of my most common excuses - 'it's too hot to walk, I'll get dehydrated'.

BAM!   No more excuses!

I was hesitant to try it on when it arrived as I was certain that it would never get around my belly - well it did!  It was snug, but not in the slightest bit uncomfortable.  However I decided that I need an extension to prevent any unnecessary chafing or irritation.  I got that sorted yesterday, a lovely young fella from Sew What? an upholsterer at East Maitland, added an extra piece of webbing to either side for me.

I filled it with icy cold water, threw in a sachet of electrolytes, grabbed DD's little dog Zippa, and off I went.

Having Zippa with me was the second thing I did differently.  I don't usually take any of the dogs with me.

Dozer is too old, he's 10 and has crook hips - he'd never make it.
Tonka is a nervous nellie, her nerves just wouldn't cope with the noise.
Zippa is the baby of the family, is basically the class clown, and he has an over abundance of enthusiasm.

Think Tom Cruise and couch jumping, now just make Tom short, white, and fluffy... well, white and fluffy.

He goes everywhere at a million miles an hour, and stands there gawping at you, mouth wide open, tongue lolling out, eyes wide with excitement...
He's such a happy little camper.

Zippa is a small Maltalier, he is quite a heavy little bloke, and very strong.  I tried taking him with me once before and he was pulling me off my feet.  Before I'd even gone 500m I had to ring DD to come and get him.

Today was different, I'm stronger, and more sure of myself, and had no trouble with him at all.  I think he was just glad to be taken out - his mummy DD never takes him anywhere.

He had quite an adventure too.  
He met horse with a sense of humour.
Then was upset when the horses in the next paddock wouldn't come over and say hello.  

He stopped for a cold drink and a 'moment' at the Pee Post.  He thinks he's too big for the Wee Pee Post.  Typical male... and on the way home he met a baby black faced sheep at the local nursing home, the alpaca was too snooty and just sat there looking down his nose at us.

We made it a short one today, I didn't want to wear him out and end up having to carry him, and it was reasonably warm, so I cut down the distance a little bit and did 4.3km and burned 404cal.  My time was slower than usual, but given that I had to stop to let him chat with horses and sheep, it's to be expected.

All in all not too shabby.


  1. Hi Annie
    I just wanted to say I really enjoy reading your blogs and think your a very talented writer!! You say it how it really is and I find that bloody funny!!
    Good luck with your weight loss journey!

  2. Brilliant!!!!! Zappa will love your walks! What a cutie.


  3. I did write ZIPPA, darn auto correct!!