Ticker envy...

They only weigh 75kg and they think they're fat?  Pfft! Please!

You only have to spend a few minutes of the forums over at 12WBT to see there are a lot of different numbers showing up on tickers in every thread.

We're all human, so we can't help but to look, compare, and be relieved that higher number doesn't belong to us, or be envious of a smaller number, or even resentful of a number that we may think is not big enough to be on the program.  Human nature can be an ugly thing, and our Shoulder Angel sometimes has an up hill battle getting us to think compassionately, or to see things from another perspective.

Many moons ago, Mum used to have a dress shop.  She sold plus size fashion at affordable prices, and was reasonably successful.  It was while working at that shop that I came to understand something that has stayed with me ever since.  Except when I am throwing myself a pity party, then everyone is fair game...

What I realised was that when it comes to comparing ourselves and our weight with others, being fat/overweight/larger/plus size, whatever word we choose to use, it is an independently relative thing.

What I mean is this.  I am 5'4" and I weigh 161Kg.  I've been this way now for so long that I honestly cannot remember what it feels like to be any other way.  I remember what it LOOKS like, but not what it FEELS like.  I have grown used to the feeling of carrying an extra 100kg.  I have grown used to the feeling of being so big I can't bend down to tie my shoes or cut my toenails, of having a closet FULL of tents and stretchy pants.

Now imagine that your normal weight for your whole life was 55kg, and that for whatever reason, it shot up to say 75kg.  Now for any of us, no matter what weight we are, an extra 20kg... that's a lot.  That person calls themselves fat.  They feel fat.  Their clothes no longer fit.  They are fat.  They used to be a size 10 and now they are what, an 18?

But to me?  From my perspective?  They're perfect!  They are petite, slim, slender, thin, whatever word you wish to use.  They are not as big as me, so what would they possibly know about being fat?  That person is what I dream of at night when my head hits the pillow and the Sandman pays his nightly, if somewhat tardy, visit.  Note to self: speak to Sandman about the declining quality of his sand...  So in pops Voice, and Voice pretty much screams 'who the hell do they think they are?'  and 'what right have they got to complain?' and 'wait until they are this fat, and then they can call themselves fat'.  

As I said earlier, human nature can be an ugly thing.  I don't have the right to judge them on how fat I think they are or aren't, how fat or thin they feel, just as they don't have the right to judge me for my size or self-perception.

What I should be doing is embracing them, acknowledging their pain, and saying to them  I understand you.  Not indulging myself in ticker envy.