Six turns around the block...

Monday 5th May heralded the beginning of my sixth consecutive 12WBT Round.

WOW!


Six rounds... I'm not really sure how I feel about that... which has been a fairly common experience for me in the last few months.  I've changed so much that I find myself questioning things - people, events, statements - that I never would have questioned before, and I've begun saying, to myself and out loud, 'I'm not sure how I feel about that' or something similar.

I'll tell you one thing though, I certainly don't feel like a champion!  Not yet anyway, I'm still a work in progress.

I asked myself some questions to see how much I had changed, and some of the answers surprised me, I know - weird right?  I mean, why would they surprise me, they're my answers... The answers surprised me because they aren't really questions that I ask myself very often, and some of them hadn't changed in five rounds...

Do I ever think that 12WBT isn't working for me?
NO, never, because it does work.  How well depends on me and the effort I put into it.

Do I ever think that my weight loss is too slow?
YES, sometimes, usually when I'm not giving it my all.  But I'm happy knowing that my fitness is improving, that I'm building muscle, and losing fat.  The number on the scale isn't really all that important.

Do I put as much effort into it as I could?
NO.

Do I ever think that I'm losing weight at just the right rate for me?
YES.  I've been morbidly obese for many years now - at least a decade...  I didn't get this way overnight, and it won't go away overnight either.

Do I ever feel that I'm contributing to 'Mish's Retirement Fund' as it's often put?
NO.  I get more than a bit p****d off when people say things like that.  If you feel like you're wasting your money, then don't sign up.  If you're not getting anything out of it, then you're not following the program.  If you don't like the food or the exercise or whatever, then you're too bloody fussy.  Everything is done for you... what more do you want??  She's a business woman, of course she's in it to make money, but she also has a heart and truly wants to help, if she didn't she wouldn't have bothered creating 12WBT.

Do I worry about having loose skin?
NO, I would rather have loose skin than have it filled with fat.  The thought of loose skin has never worried me.  I'm going to have it.  I'm morbidly obese, I've had kids, and I'm nearing 50... my body will have battle scars, and I'm okay with that, and I'll wear them with pride.

Do I get frustrated at my complete lack of organisational skills?
YES, I've never been a super tidy and organised person... I'm a bit too arty for that, too 'right-brained'.  Thank God that 12WBT takes most of the work out of that side of things.

Do I wish I could totally focus on more than one thing at a time?
YES, I still haven't been able to focus on the program as a whole yet, but I continue to chip away at it.

Do I still have issues around food?
YES, I think I'll have them for life.

Do my food issues still rule my life?
NO, thanks to MB & 12WBT I now have a measure of freedom.

Do I trade off food for exercise?
NO, never, I think that habit is just as unhealthy as any other bargaining we do with food and exercise.

Do I still make excuses?
YES, sometimes.

Do I make better, smarter, food choices?
YES, most of the time.

Do I still think of food as 'good' or 'bad'?
NO, not any more.  Food is fuel.  That is all.
Some of it just tastes better...

For example Bacon.


Bacon tastes better than Brussels Sprouts.

But then again... what doesn't?

I wonder...

What'll be different by the end of Round 6...?