You say tomayto, I say tomarto...

Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out, honestly I wanna see you be brave...

"You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebodys lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothings gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave"

~ Brave by Sara Barilles ~

These are some of the lyrics to a music video posted on a blog that I like to read.  They struck a chord within me, because last week I made a comment on my personal FB page that one person that I know of didn't agree with.

Depending on your point of view, it was perfectly okay for me to voice my opinion, or I could have been solely responsible for all the ills in the world and the decline of humanity as we know it.


Apparently, suggesting that a person who asks 'I've never done this before, but has anyone ever hung their washing outside to dry?  Is it safe?'  maybe stupid, is frowned upon.

Who knew??

I let the words fall out, and was beaten down with a metaphorical big stick for it.

I'm not sure, but I think I did it again... only not on my own page this time.

The last few days there has been quite a bit of discussion on some 12WBT related FB pages and on the forums, about the decision not to have the end of round finale party for participants in Round 4 2013.

I've never been to a finale party, I don't have the confidence in myself yet to go, which is not to say that I wouldn't have gone to one in the future.  Guess that won't be happening any time soon!   But I have always had a problem with the way it was promoted by the company.  My impression of it was 'Eat clean, train hard, and we'll have a big piss up at the end of it'.


I made the mistake of saying as much, and naturally misunderstanding ensued.  I wasn't judging anyone for going, or having a good time once there.  I just thought, and still do, that the way it's constantly spoken about by MB and the support crew is sending mixed messages and that it's a bit hypocritical of them.

I've been trying really hard to understand the depth of feeling that people are having toward this change, and I'm finding it really difficult.  I can understand the desire  to go, and the reasons  people want to go - just not the strength  of feeling for it.

Only a few members had been notified of the decision via email, and one shared the text of the email with us on a FB page, asking if others had received it as well.  Discussion ensued, opinions were proffered, some people got sad, some got angry, and others were offended.

In many of the posts people are expressing their disappointment and sadness that there won't be a finale party because they look forward to it for so many different reasons eg: dressing up, having their hair & make up done, catching up with friends, making new friends, celebrating their success, or as a reward etc

People have said that the finale party is the only point of difference between the 12WBT and any other program on the market.


Some have said that it was the only reason they joined, because after 12 weeks of deprivation they'd get to party at the end of it, that they need something to reward themselves with.

Some have even said that because there will no longer be a party to look forward to, they will not be signing for any future Rounds.

Much of this left me puzzled, but as I said, I was trying hard to understand all the different points of view and feelings that people were having.

It wasn't until I read a post by Coco Girl (aka the marvellous Kate Beck) in the forums, and her feelings on the finale party.  The thing she said that gave me that 'light bulb moment', was that it's a goal for so many members, something to aim for and to inspire and motivate them for the next round.

That in turn got me thinking about my own journey, and why I  don't feel that way towards finale.

I realised that for me, the finale party represents a kind of  'food reward' and as such is a temptation that I am not able to handle as yet.  Having spent my life rewarding myself with food, medicating my pain with food, celebrating with food - I know what I can and can't deal with, and a finale party has this little black duck running around waving huge  red flags!

I have goals that I want to achieve for the end of each round, just like everyone else does, it's just that mine don't include a party.  I get to the end of the round, and sign up for the next one and start on the pre-season tasks again - when I'm being good...  I can't think about going to a big 'Do' or I'll go off the rails completely, I try not to think about the weeks between rounds so that I can stay focussed.  Which doesn't mean that I'm religiously following every letter of every email and every word that falls from MB's mouth during a mind set video... no no no no...


People like to say 'don't judge others, you don't know their story, everyone is on a journey' and that's true. But even though this is a journey we all have in common, our motivation, inspiration, goals and hurdles are as individual as our fingerprints.

For some, a finale party provides inspiration and motivation,

for others... not so much...

You say tomayto, and I say tomarto.